Bart's super awesome really amazing plan to get Dick & Wally together
by notagoodplace4gods
Summary: exactly what the title says, friends \ (ツ) /
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Bart and Wally kind of hate each other in this (like in the comics , but not really. Bart decides to get Dick and Wally together because when Wally's around Dick, he stops being an ass, and if they start dating, then Dick will move in and fix Wally forever, right? Flawless logic? Flawless logic.

 **xxx**

It's no secret that Bart Allen and his cousin once removed Wally West don't get along well. Actually, they don't get along at all. The fighting and bickering did decrease since Wally quit superheroing, but that's only because now they don't spend as much time in the same room as they did before.

Now, due to Barry and Iris' vacation trip, they have to spend two weeks together. The Allens know they could have asked Jay and Joan to look after Bart during this time, but Jay's going to be busy filling in as the Flash and no one without superspeed can handle taking care of Bart, so Wally's the logical choice.

Plus, Barry really hopes that they can overcome their differences and become friends, after all, they're both his kids and two of the most important people in his life. He wants them to get along, he wants them to be able to share a room without being at each other's throat the entire time. So he talked to Wally and managed to guilt trip him into promising to at least try and be civil to his cousin.

"So, that's your plan?" Dick finds the whole thing amusing when he comes to visit his best friend. "You're just going to keep ignoring him?"

"Yes." Wally nods and then shrugs. "Kid's a nightmare and the less I talk to him, the better."

"Yeah, but that's not what Barry asked of you, remember?" Dick tries again.

"Uncle B doesn't want me fighting with him and we're not fighting. We haven't fought since he got here, and it's been, like, thirty four minutes. It's a new record for us."

"Make it to a whole hour and then I'll be impressed." Dick throws himself on Wally's couch and gets the remote. "Think you'll be able to last that long? How about a little bet to make things interesting?"

"Are you crazy, dude? I'm not betting against you ever again, I've learned my lesson, come on." Wally laughs, takes the remote from him, turns the TV on and starts shifting through the channels. "Besides, I don't think..." He stops abruptly, wide eyes fixed on whatever's happening on the screen.

Dick doesn't need to turn around to know what's happening because he can hear both Cat Grant's and Bart's voices. He focus on Wally instead, because he knows the redhead's not going to respond well to this. The whole thing isn't good. In less than thirty minutes Bart broke all of Wally's ground rules; he took off without any warnings, he went crime fighting all by himself and now he's doing an interview. Dick watches Wally's face go from disbelief to annoyance to righteous anger and Dick reaches his hand, to touch his friend's shoulder.

"Wally, don't..." But it's too late. There's a rush of wind that blinds him and when he reopens his eyes, Wally's not there anymore. "Well, okay. I tried." He gets the remote from the floor and changes channel to a cartoon, getting more comfortable on the couch.

Dick only realizes he had fallen asleep when he suddenly opens his eyes to door banging and loud yelling.

"Are you insane? Talking to the press before rushing into a burning building?"

"I'm a hero, and maybe you've forgotten, but that's what a hero does."

"Don't lecture me on being a superhero, kid, I'm in this longer than you."

"Yeah, but just cause you're older than me." Bart crosses his arms and mutters under his breath, but Wally just ignores it and keeps going.

"And we need to cooperate with the authorities, the firemen had everything under control and you've only made it worse!"

"I don't need you lecturing me on this, I've had enough from that one fireman I've rescued. You think he'd thank me for saving him, but noooooo..."

"Oh my god, don't you understand what you've done? How many people that explosion could have killed? Dammit, Bart, you could have..." Wally suddenly stops and looks away. "You could have died."

Bart looks thrown by this outburst, and is left speechless for a moment. But then, his face suddenly turns bitter and he spits out. "Why do you care?"

Dick stops trying to hide away from them and just stands up. He looks at Wally right in the eyes because this is important. The message is simple: _Don't fuck this up._

Wally's face goes blank, all anger leaving him and he fidgets. "Well, I..."

"Yeah, whatever." Bart interrupts him. "If you need me, I'll be in my room." Then he speeds off and Wally tries to run after him, only to be met with a closed door. Damn this kid's superspeed.

"Open this door right now, Bart, we're not done!" He yells, then yells some more and when he gets tired of yelling, he turns to Dick.

"Shut up."

Dick only shrugs and makes a zipping up gesture over his mouth. He knows better than to try to talk some sense into Wally when he's like this. He knows exactly what to do when Wally's like this; he's had practice. "Go order us three pizzas and then get your ass here so I can cuddle you to death".

Wally's features soften a little, but he's still hesitant.

"I don't really think that's a good idea..."

"Come on, dude, no homo." Dick cuts him off and opens his arms, as an open invitation.

Best friends cuddle, right? That's nothing weird about it, is it?

"Fine, okay, you win." Wally laughs and throws himself at the other, snuggling against him.

Dick plays with his hair. "But you know we'll have to address your thing with Bart later, don't you?"

"Yeah." Wally mumbles, hiding his face on Dick's shoulder.

 **xxx**

Bart puts his headphones on right after he closes and locks the door behind him to tune Wally's yells off. He can't believe he's got to spend two entire weeks in this house, stuck with him. Wally's insufferable and Bart can't believe there was a time he was actually excited to meet him. When he came back with a time machine to save the world, he couldn't wait to meet everyone in his family, including one Wally West.

But Wally wasn't so excited to meet him. The redhead tried his best to talk Bart out of superheroing and when it became clear his efforts were in vain, Wally gave Bart his old Kid Flash uniform and told him he wanted to have nothing to do with it anymore. He wanted to distance himself from the name, and from his recently discovered cousin. Barry tried to justify his nephew's actions, tried to explain that Wally was so against him being a hero because they've just lost Jason and Tula to crimefighting and that Wally worried for him because he _cared,_ but Bart knows it's bullshit.

Wally doesn't care. He never did, he never will and Bart's always known this, so he doesn't need to stick around just to hear Wally confirm it.

Whatever, Wally probably hates him because Bart's a better hero than him. He's faster, he knows how to phase through things, so it doesn't matter if he's young or inexperienced or impulsive. Bart's way better than him, but he doesn't get any recognition for it. Everytime he saves someone in Central City, people ask him when the _real_ Kid Flash's coming back. Not even the Rogues consider him as a serious threat and it's only because he's not Wally.

His stomach suddenly groans and it brings him back to reality. The thought of going back to the living room and facing Wally makes Bart bang his head against the door, but there's no other way to the kitchen, so he sucks it up and goes.

He tries to be as silent as possible because maybe Wally won't notice him, maybe...

"What do you think you're doing?" Wally's head turns to face him and he gets up from the sofa. He wants to be ready to run if Bart suddenly takes off like he did earlier.

"I'm getting some food or is it against your stupid house rules too? Do you hate me so much you want me to starve to death?"

"Listen, kid..." Wally starts, and Bart braces himself to another yelling match, but then Dick's hand goes to Wally's shoulder and to his neck and he's talking.

"We have pizza. And cartoons. Come watch it with us."

Bart and Wally both blink in disbelief at the same time.

"He doesn't want to watch anything with me." Bart accuses and crosses his arms in front of his chest. "And, according to his stupid rules, I have a curfew and should go to bed now."

Wally seems to be about to nod, but then Dick's hand starts moving again, now down to his back and he changes his mind. "Yeah, okay, you can stay up a while more and watch it with us if you want." He looks away and shrugs. "I think you're going to like it, the next episode is the best."

Bart looks over to the TV and sees coloured monsters fighting kids with ridiculous coloured armours.

"How do you know it's good? Have you watched it before?"

Dick laughs and then goes to him, throwing his arm around the kid's shoulders.

"Kid, didn't I tell you how much of a nerd your cousin is?" Bart likes Dick Grayson, he's cool. "It's his favorite cartoon and he's watched it and made me watch it with him so many times I know all the lines by heart."

Now it's Wally's time to laugh.

"Shut up, you secretly love it too, you dork." Wally goes back to the sofa and Bart reluctantly seats between them.

"Hey, I don't deny it." Dick shrugs. "But it's still your fault, though." He starts pointing to the characters, trying to explain their backgrounds to Bart, and Wally chimes in from time to time, adding some details, correcting him, and making witty remarks. Wally smiles all the way through the episode and Bart's never seen him so relaxed before. It's new, it's weird, and it's surprisingly fun.

And it's all thanks to Dick's presence, Bart knows. Dick somehow gets through the ten layers of assholeness and brings out the best in Wally. Too bad Dick will leave after this episode because _okay, okay, one more, but I really have to go, my city won't patrol itself._ Too bad Dick can't be around all the time.

Wait. Why can't he? Bart's brain suddenly starts running through amazing, awesome ideas. Dick and Wally are already pretty close, they just need a little push to get even closer; if they start dating, Dick will move in and Bart will actually be able to get to know the not-asshole side of his cousin once removed.

The cartoon ends and Dick leaves, despite Bart's protests. Bart only calms down when he promises to be back tomorrow.

"So, uh, did you like the cartoon?" Wally asks, back to fidgeting and being uncomfortable... but he's trying. He promised Barry he'd try so he's trying.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." But Bart pays him no attention. He has a plan already.

He has the most amazing infallible plan ever to get them together and he needs to prepare because phase one starts tomorrow.


	2. phase 1

As promised, Dick arrives early morning. Maybe a little too early just because Wally doesn't do mornings so he gets to make as much fun of the redhead as he wants and only get incoherent groanings in reply.

Bart's dying to get started with his plan already, but decides some investigating's in order first. He knew Dick and Wally were best friends before he came to the past, but he's never been around both of them before for long, so he doesn't know much about their relationship. He needs some time to observe and categorize how in denial they are; depending on the answer, he's not going to waste any time on the first steps and jump straight to phase 3.

Thirty minutes in and Bart's bored already, but he forces himself to continue. There's a lot of teasing, joking, and talking over each other until they're fake fighting, but the line from friendly platonic no homo touching to yes, homo touching is never crossed, they always pull away in the right second, the second before it starts getting weird. Their hands are always dangerously close together, and, while their pinkies bump into each other sometimes, they never actually interwine.

There's a lot of staring, though. Bart doesn't really pay any attention to Wally's explanation on why his favorite cartoon character isn't really dead because there's no body, you guys, she just disappeared into thin air, so maybe she could have like skipped dimensions or something, but Dick does, even though it's probably not the first (or even second) time he's hearing it. Dick has such a fond look on his eyes while he watches Wally rant about the science of dimension travelling, there is obviously something there.

And Wally does the same thing when Dick's not looking. It takes some time for Bart to realize whether he's making heart eyes at Dick or at the burgers the former boy wonder's making, but the staring continues after the cooking's over so it's safe to assume Dick's feeling are reciprocated.

But the staring's never happens at the same time, so how can they know the feelings are mutual? Bart checks the pining box in his master plan and decides to start at phase one. He feels suddenly the weight of responsibility on his shoulders because if his plan fails, it might take them days, months, or even years to get together and nothing should take that much time to happen. If Dick and Wally like each other, then they should stop wasting time and just get together now.

Wally yells that lunch is ready and Bart smiles at the paper in his hands; his plan is amazing and his logic is flawless. There's no way this could go wrong.

He watches from his door, and waits until they're by each other sides before yelling: "Coming!" He runs toward the table, making sure to pass right between them and knocks Dick to the side with his superspeed.

"Hey!" Wally yells after him, brows frowned, but rushes over to stop Dick from falling. In less than a minute, he's holding the brunet in his arms. "Hey, you okay, dude?"

Dick raises his head and that's it, they're staring right into each other eyes like all the rom coms he watched the night before as research material dictates they should. He unlocks his phone, searching for the perfect soundtrack because that's the moment a very cheesy love song starts playing out of nowhere, but before he can find it, Dick's already back on his feet.

"Thanks, bro." He says and Wally noncomittally shrugs. It's incredibly awkward and Bart feels like smashing his head against the wall and just giving up because maybe he got carried away with the idea of Dick moving in when there's nothing really there between them, but then Dick smirks. "Nice reflexes. Six months out of the team and you still got it, who knew?"

"Hell yeah, I still got it." Wally laughs, but then bites on his bottom lip. "And by the way, I've been thinking about something all this time and if you ever need my help, maybe I could... I could come back."

Bart can't keep his jaw from falling to the floor because what.

"Not full time, not like before. Bart, Kid Flash's still yours." Wally quickly adds before they can start having ideas. "But, dude, you're overworking yourself way too much being leader of young justice and having your own city to look after. Did you even sleep last night?"

Dick's obviously in shock too, because he has nothing to say to that.

Wally fakes a cough and looks away. "I mean, I know now's not the time to discuss it, but I just want you to know that... Well, I'm here for you. Anytime you need, bro."

Bart's resolve is back to one hundred and fifty percent because, even if there's a few I love you s missing from that love declaration, it's still a love declaration. Grandpa Barry has been trying to get Wally back into crimefighting for a while now, and he always refused. But for Dick, he would go back to it. He knows Dick would never ask it of him. but he would do it, nevertheless. If that's not love, then Bart doesn't want to know what is.

He almost shouts and does a little happy dance when Dick takes Wally's hands on his.

"Thanks, Wally, that means a lot. Truly." He squeezes them, and smiles. They're really close to one another, but he's not staring at Wally's eyes this time, no, he's staring right at Wally's lips and that's even better! "You're the best bro a bro could ask for."

"I know, right?" Wally laughs and takes a step back, glancing at Bart with the corner of his eyes, but Dick doesn't seem disappointed.

"So how does today sound?" He says and shrugs. "I'm doing a drug bust and your help would be appreciated. Especially because I kind of twisted my ankle yesterday."

"Dammit, Dick." Wally curses, shaking his head. "Were you going to tell me about that ankle if I hadn't offered my help first?"

"Nope." Dick's smile is nonchalant, and the moment's gone, they're back to friendly platonic teasing.

The moment's gone, but Bart doesn't let it discourage him. For a moment to be gone, it needs to actually exist first, and it did. Bart saw it. And Bart's going to make it happen again. It's time for phase two.

He's going to start working on it right now.

"Maybe we should take Bart with us." Dick says and wait. What.

"I don't think..." Wally doesn't seem to like the idea.

"Come on, dude, two speedsters is better than one." Dick throws one arm around him. "Plus, if I'm not mistaken, this will be the first time you two team up. He can learn a lot from you."

Ha. Bart really doubts Wally has something to teach him, but he's not about to ruin his chances by laughing out loud.

"Yes, yes, come on, it's going to be so fun!" He goes to Wally and pulls at his sleeve, bouncing up and down with excitement. To be completely honest, he's a bit curious to fight by Wally's side. He's heard stories from everyone, but Wally. They haven't gone in any missions before Wally quit superheroing and then he quit superheroing and Bart never thought he'd have a chance to see his cousin in action with his own eyes.

"Yeah, okay." Wally sighs and gives in, earning him a quick hug from the other speedster. "But you're gonna behave, and do everything me and Dick tell you to do, okay?"

Bart nods enthusiastically. Phase two's not going anywhere, it can wait until tomorrow.

xxx

Bart's so excited after the drug bust, he can't fall asleep. He can't believe Wally even let him go, and that it went so smoothly. But the most unbelievable part of the night is that he actually had a lot of fun working with Dick and Wally; he and Dick made fun of Wally's improvised black costume, they all took a selfie with the drug dealer tied up behind them to send Tim and then he and Wally raced back home. The race ended up being a tie, but Bart doesn't really care. Speedster races aren't about winning or losing, but sharing with someone the amazingly awesome feeling of running in superspeed. It's about looking to the side and seeing someone keep up and smile back at you, it's about having someone understand.

He gets up, deciding to go for a snack and finds Wally at the kitchen, doing the exact same thing. The entire second it takes to Wally to turn around makes him worried because Dick's not there anymore. What if Wally's back to insufferable overprotective cousin and the whole day's ruined? Maybe he should run away back to his room and hide so they'll end the day on a good note.

Then Wally looks over to him and smiles.

"Couldn't sleep either, yeah?

Bart nods, instead of answering with words because he doesn't want to mess it up.

"Here." Wally hands him a bag of Chicken Whizees. "This stuff's amazing and you'll love it."

Bart accepts it and takes a mouthful. "Oh, my god!" He exclaims and then shoves a lot more into his mouth.

Wally wholeheartedly laughs and pets him in the head. "Guess I still got some stuff to teach you, huh, kid?"

Bart just nods again, instead of answering out loud, but this time it's because his mouth is filled with all the chicken whizees.

"And, since we're still up, maybe we could play some video games and pass some time? We're on vacation so it's not like we need to wake up early tomorrow, right?"

"Video games?" Bart asks, confused.

"What? Don't tell me you don't have video games in the invasion apocalyptic future?" He realizes before finishing the sentence and facepalms. "Well, okay, come with me."

Bart follows him to his bedroom.

"I've lent some games to Dick, but I still got my Star Wars's. Force unleashed?"

"What's Star Wars? Did you fight in it? Did Nightwing and young justice?"

"Oh, kid. I had no idea uncle Barry was neglecting your education." Wally bites on his bottom lip and goes from his games to the DVDs on his shelf. "Prepare to learn, young padawan."

Bart has no idea what's going on, but Wally's smiling, he seems excited and, when he sits on the couch next to him, their shoulders bump and he doesn't move away.

xxx

Bart wakes up with a blanket up to his neck and realizes he's not in Wally's room anymore, he's in his own. There are two options to what happened; whether he dreamed the whole star wars thing and he could have because the plot is crazy, or it was all true and he felt asleep on top of Wally so his cousin carried him back to his room.

He doesn't know each option is better, so he decides to let it go and gets up for breakfast. He stops by his door because he hears Wally's voice on the phone and Wally's talking about him.

"Yeah, dude, can you believe he didn't know what star wars was?" Then a pause. "Yes, Dick, of course I started with episode IV, who do you think I am? Yes, you should be sorry, oh my god." Then a very, very long pause. "Yeah, it was... Nice. Really nice." Another pause. "I don't know, he fell asleep in the middle of The Empire Strikes Back and what if it was because he though it was boring? What if he hates it? Dick, I won't be able to bear it if he hates it, I swear to god, I'm gonna..."

"I like it." Bart yells from the door and goes to the living room.

"Oops, have to go, dude. Talk to you later." Wally hangs up and turns to his little cousin. "Really?"

"Yes. Is Dick coming over today?"

"No, he has stuff to do. But do you really like it?" He waits for Bart to nod and then lets out a relieved sigh. "Then we have four and a half movies to watch now. Then, there's star trek, which is also about space, and then we need to sit down and have a serious discussion over which one is better."

Bart's plan was to start phase two today, but Dick's not coming. He thinks he should be more disappointed, but somehow, he's not. He's excited. He's excited to spend an entire day watching movies with Wally alone. Wow. That's weird. But, at the same, time it's kind of... Nice. Really nice.


	3. phase 2

**A/N:** I JUST HAD A LOT OF WALLY/BART COUSIN FEELS DON'T JUDGE ME

 **Chapter 3**

The time he spent with Wally was cool, but it only made Bart more keen on following through with his plan to get him together with Dick. And it's mostly because, even though Wally loves Star Wars, he's a trekkie at heart, and Bart doesn't really see what's so special about Star Trek; the thing's old, it takes forever for anything to happen and they don't have lightsabers. Wally liking star trek over star wars is the worst thing _ever_ and they're back to hating each other and fighting all the time.

Bart always knew that getting along with Wally would never last. He still doesn't believe it actually happened and that it lasted as long as it did. Now he can definitely go to grandpa and say that he _tried._ He tried really hard, but he can't get over Wally liking Star Trek.

But, the thing is, Bart is 99.999% sure that Dick is a star wars guy, so, the sooner he gets them together, the sooner Dick can help Wally see the light and everyone's happy; Dick and Wally will be happy, he will be happy, and so will granpa and granma. Everybody wins.

Phase two is actually a hard one because he has to wait for the right moment, and Bart absolutely _hates_ waiting. But it's for a good cause, so he uses all the strength he possesses and sits through more star trek the next generation episodes and waits. After the third one, Wally turns the TV off and motions his head to Dick, who had fallen asleep midway through it.

"He probably overworked himself on Patrol last night." Wally sighs. "And there's no guarantee he's gonna get some sleep tonight, so we should let him rest for a while, come on."

Yes, Dick's definitely a Star Wars guy. He would never fall asleep during Star Wars, no matter how tired he was, Bart's certain of that.

They leave Dick on the sofa, and Wally decides to go take a shower. Bart tries not to smile too much, but this is actually perfect. Everything's falling into place and this is it. This is the right moment. He leaves a note saying he went to visit Tim, searches the house for all of Wally's spare keys, takes his and Dick's cellphones, locks the two of them inside, and then gives himself a mental high-five for being so brilliant.

He doesn't have to worry about the house phone because it's broken and Wally doesn't have the money to fix it. He refuses to take any help from his family or from his super rich best (boy)friend.

The younger speedster quickly goes around the house and checks the windows to make sure they're locked and that there's no way of them getting out until they resolve their sexual tension and become a couple. Locking people together is actually a trope used in tons of movies and TV shows, sometimes it's an accident, like the boy and the girl get stuck on an elevator, other times it's some kind of an intervention made by the reluctant couple's friends. But it always works. So it's going to work now, they'll start dating, move in together, get married, adopt kids and Bart's going to be the coolest uncle ever, who's gonna get their kids addicted to Star Wars before Wally can corrupt them. Yes, good plan.

Bart watches Wally get out of the bathroom, already dressed. The older redhead takes a good look around, confused by how quiet everything is, and then finds Bart's note. His face does _a thing,_ it's an unhappy thing and Bart can't tell if he's disappointed or upset from the window. Whatever it is, it's probably because he wanted Bart to ask him permission to leave the house or something. Wally's so strict with his boring house rules, it's annoying.

Wally crushes the paper and throws it into the garbage can. He goes to grab a snack, eats it, and it takes ten long, _excruciating_ minutes for him to glance at where Dick's laying on the sofa.

He walks towards the sofa, sits by his best friend's side and then simply disappears from view. Bart almost yells in frustration when he realizes his view of that one corner in the whole house is blocked. He runs around the house, but the situation doesn't really get any better. He manages to see the sofa from a side point of view, but Wally's back is turned towards him and he can't see what they're doing.

Is Wally lovingly caressing Dick's face and thinking about how sweet and peaceful Dick looks when he's sleeping? Is he going for a stolen kiss? Wally slowly moves to the right and Bart can see Dick's hands moving. Wait. Is Dick awake? When did he woke up? Oh, man, Bart can't believe he missed this.

 _This is the worst._

Dick looks like he's saying something and Bart grows annoyed. He wants to know what they're saying so bad. Perhaps he should have hidden inside the house, but what if they started making out right after they declare their undying love to each other? Ew. Bart most definitely doesn't want to see _that._

Wally gets up, and moves to the kitchen, while Dick's still talking and wow, Wally, that's _rude._ That's probably why he can't get a boyfriend on his own, Bart concludes, but then notices Dick's got his hand in his ear.

 _No!_ Bart got rid of his cellphones, but forgot to check for communicators. Rookie mistake, Allen. He should have known that Nightwing would have more than one way to contact his team.

Bart ignores his own vibrating phone and inspects his cousin's face, Wally looks as disappointed as Bart feels. It's not what Bart was hoping for, but it is something. For Wally to be this sad over Dick having to leave, it means that he was looking forward to spending some time alone with the former boy wonder, that he has _feelings_ for him or maybe that he's just worried over his sleep deprived best friend going on another mission.

 _Dammit._

He watches as Dick gets up from the sofa and goes to the door, only to find it locked. Wally's eyebrows turn into a frown and, when he doesn't find his spare key in its usual spot, he quickly searches the entire house for it. He comes back, his face's red and angry, goes to the garbage can, grabs the note Bart wrote him and shows it to Dick.

This is turning sour really quick. Bart unhigh-fives himself because all he ever got from phase 2 was to make Wally angry at him.

Bart gets his phone out of his pocket in a hurry to text Tim and ask his friend for an alibi, but as soon as he gets it out, he notices the missed calls and one text message, all from Tim. _New baddie in town, meet us in the cave."_

He sighs, puts the phone away and, when he raises his head back to the window, he sees Dick walking toward him and almost falls on his back. He runs away and hides behind a tree and watches Dick break the glass with just one punch.

He should have thought about this too.

"You're paying for this, right?" Comes Wally's voice from inside the house.

"Yeah, no worries. Being best friends with Dick Grayson does have its perks, who knew?" Dick gets out and helps Wally do the same. "And I'm sure whatever happened wasn't Bart's fault, okay? Go easy on the kid."

See, that's why Bart likes Dick.

"Yeah, yeah, but still. The kid vanishes and so does our keys and phones." Wally doesn't look very convinced.

"Well, I just texted Tim and he said Bart's with him, just like he said he was, so..."

What? Bart's jaw falls to the ground. Tim covered for him and he didn't even need to ask. Best. Friend. Ever.

"Yeah, okay, I'm sure there is another explanation. I'm gonna go ask Jay for help, he's great with tools. You go do your thing, just take care of Bart, and...Well..." Wally looks away, quickly. "Be careful, okay?"

"I always am, dude." Dick answers and holds Wally's hands and steps into Wally's private space and Bart's dying of anticipation because _they're going to kiss, they're going to kiss!"_

Dick stops midway and takes his hand to his ear. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Just sit tight."

Bart bangs his head against the tree and some leaves fall. Thank god it's almost fall season, so it doesn't look suspicious.

"Come on, fearless leader, your team needs you. I'm taking you to the nearest zeta tube, so you won't waste anymore time."

"You're all work and no fun." Dick replies and Bart suddenly realizes that he needs to get to the cave before Dick does so he won't suspect anything. Disappointed and a little upset, he takes off.

xxx

"Bart, you know I have no trouble covering for you, but I'd like to know what I'm covering for." Tim says, in lieu of greeting, as soon as Bart halts to a stop by his side.

"I have reasons. Very good reasons." Bart hugs him and fast-debates whether to tell him about his super awesome really amazing infallible plan to get Dick and Wally together and reaches the conclusion that HELL YEAH telling Tim is a great idea. Tim's Dick little brother so of course he'd love to see his big bro happy. Plus, he's really really smart and could go over the plan and make it foolproof. "Man, I can't wait to tell you all about it. Just, not now." He can't talk right now because the computer's just introducing Nightwing.

Dick has the biggest, goofiest smile on his face when he turns to the team.

"Alright, guys, let's get to work."

xxx

The mission is tiring and frustrating. The new baddie played them and escaped and now they've got no new orders, but "go home, rest, and wait for more intel." And if there's anything Bart hates more than waiting, it's waiting in vain, which leaves him with all this _energy_ and nothing to do, nowhere to run.

And to top it off Dick makes sure to tell him that Wally wants him to go home straight away when they return to the cave.

Bart would love to take off running, but he knows that if he does, Wally's going to find out and he's going to tell grandpa and Bart's going to be grounded _for life._ So he forces himself to slow his mind down and resigns himself to another sleepless night. No matter how hard he tries to sleep when he's like this, he just can't.

When he gets home, the lights are out. It would be easy to just _not go in,_ but something's stopping him. Sighing, he does go in and finds Wally asleep on a chair, by the table. That doesn't look comfortable. The idea of simply running away is still tempting him, but the pull isn't half as strong. Wally fell asleep waiting _for him_ and it makes Bart feel guilty.

That's new. Feeling guilty about disappointing Wally. Bart wants to bang his head against the nearest wall because what? When did this happen? But he thinks about Wally asking Dick to look after him, he thinks about Wally carrying him to bed the other night, he thinks about Wally waiting all this time for him to return, he thinks that maybe, _maybe_ Wally cares about him and he can't help it.

"Dammit." He curses, as he watches his sleeping cousin. He wishes he could do something to make him more comfortable, but there's no way he can carry Wally to bed without waking him. Then he sees Wally unconsciously shiver and a brilliant idea hits him. He runs back to Wally's room and comes back with a pillow and two blankets.

When he tries to move Wally's head to place the pillow, Wally jerks awake and blinks at him. Bart's knows he could and should have run, but he freezes on the spot, instead, and now he's been caught _caring._

Wally gapes at him and he gapes back at Wally because that was never supposed to happen.

"Thanks." Wally takes the pillow from him, surprised and a little embarrassed at what just happened. "But, hey, how was the mission?"

"Horrible." Bart answers, eager to change the subject. "We had a stakeout but, as it turns out, we were watching the wrong guy the whole time. He playedusandIwassomadbutwhatcouldwedoabout..."

"Hey." Wally stops his speed rant with a hand to his shoulder. Now that's he's more awake, he can see how bursting with energy his little cousin is, he's practically bouncing up and down. Bart's whole body's aching to run and burn all the energy and Wally still remembers how it feels. It's not a good feeling. "How about we go camping at the backyard?"

"What?" Bart blinks at him.

"Well, I'm rested, and you don't look like you are tired, so... Why not? I think I've got some camping equipment in the..." He doesn't even finishes the sentence because Bart's gone and then he's back, with the equipment at his feet. "Okay, you've already found it. Look, Kid, I know running is amazing, but sometimes we gotta put the speed to other uses and learn new things, so, what do you say?" He waits for Bart to nod. "Wait, do we have..." There's another rush of wind and Bart's back with marshmallows. "Good, let's go."

Bart reads the whole manual in five seconds, but putting the tent together takes longer than he imagined because, in his rush, he neglected a lot of details and _details are important, Bart, pay attention to them._ Wally makes him go through it all over again, a lot slower, so they can double-check everything. By the end of it, they have everything ready, a small fire burning and Bart's tired and a little bit sleepy, but he refuses to acknowledge it only because he doesn't really want the night to end.

Wally looks at his little cousin yawn, and feels both proud and nostalgic. Uncle Barry used to take him camping and let him do all the hard work so he could burn the energy when he got like this. It's a speedster thing and it always works.

"What're you thinking about? Is it a story? We have a fire, we should tell each other's horror stories, or, you know, just... normal stories... Or whatever." Bart stuffs some marshmallows into his mouth to stop himself from talking.

"Dude, you're from the future. Don't you, like, know everything already?" Wally raises an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, I mean, I've heard stories, but I don't really know the details, you know? And details are important, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Okay, fine. What do you wanna hear?"

"Just start with how you got your powers." Bart's reply is quick and Wally's taken aback. He figured Bart would like to know more about his grandfather, he never thought that Bart would be interested in _him_ so it's surprising, to say the least.

And it's kind of nice, too. It's nice and Wally starts the tale. He realizes he may have gotten a little too excited when he notices he's spent a whole hour just describing his first meeting with the Flash.

"Dude, we should sleep." He stops when he sees Bart trying to hide another yawn. "We can continue tomorrow, I promise."

"What? No, I'm not tired!" Bart's stubborn.

"Yeah, I know, but I am, so, let's go. Come on." He gestures to the tent, and Bart groans.

"But you slept while waiting for me, you shouldn't be tired!" He finds strength to complain, but not enough to hide another yawn.

"Yeah, but I'm old, so I'm allowed." Wally smiles when he hears Bart laugh at his joke, and crawls inside the tent, after his cousin. "Just shut up." He hits Bart's shoulder, pushing him away because the kid's still laughing and hey, the joke's not really that funny. He's not _that_ old.

Bart's laugh turns into another yawn. "Can you keep a secret, Wally?" He lays down and shifts to a comfortable position, closing his eyes.

"Yep." Wally lays down close to him and tries not to freak out because Bart's trusting him with _a secret._ "I've kept Dick's ID a secret for years, remember? Whatever your secret is, I'm your guy." His nervous rant causes him to mentally facepalm. He needs to stop being stupid and freaking out before he ruins the moment and Bart's back to hating him, so he shuts up and waits.

Bart's eyes are closed and he takes so long to answer Wally believes he feel asleep on him, but then the kid's mumbling "you're my Flash," before turning away from him.

Wally freezes on the spot because _what?_ What does it mean? Was he The Flash in the future? Was Bart his Kid Flash? What made him change his mind about retiring? Did something happen to uncle Barry? Oh, god. Wally doesn't like where this train of thought's going, so he just stops. There's no reason to dwell in the future, especially in a future they stopped from happening.

He takes a deep breath, looks at Bart's back and can't stop himself from thinking about being _his_ Flash. Did they get along? He remembers how he felt annoyed, angry and _jealous_ when Bart first showed up, and maybe things were different in that future, but maybe they weren't and future!Wally never actually had the time to say:

"You know what, Kid? You're alright." He pets Bart's head, sighs, turns around to sleep and makes a mental note to tell him again when Bart's awake before closing his eyes.

Unbeknownst to him, Bart's awake and _smiling._


	4. phase 3

Bart wakes up with sun shining on his face from a hole in the tent. He closes his eyes and tries to move away from it and back to dream land, but soon realizes he _can't_. There's something physically restraining him, keeping him still, and his subcouncious almost starts to panic. Then he opens one eye and sees Wally's sleeping face, resting on top of his arm and _oh_ , that's why he can't move. Wally's arm is also hugging his waist and it's heavy, but it's also warm and kind of comfortable. He lets himself have a moment to enjoy this before he remembers he and Wally kind of hate each other. They are not supposed to get along, they never did - and they never will. Bart's from the future, he knows these things, - so how did this happen? They fell asleep back to back and now he wakes up cuddling his older cousin?

The redhead tries to untangle himself from Wally, but any movement he makes, no matter how small and careful, makes Wally twich his nose. Bart can't move without waking Wally up and that can't happen. Last time Wally woke up, Bart was caught _caring_ and those ten seconds it took to change the subject were the worst thing he has ever endured, - Reach Invasion and slavery aside, - and he doesn't need go through it again. Sure last night was lots of fun, it seems like Wally's opening up to him and that they're getting close, but Bart knows it's only because Dick's been around a lot in the past few days and he would rather not get his hopes up in case his plan to get the two of them together fails and Wally's back to being an insufferable know-it-all.

He's trapped and there's nothing he can do, so Bart draws closer to his cousin and closes his own eyes, resigning himself to the fact that there's no alternative. If he falls asleep again, then there's a chance Wally will wake up before him and he'll be the one who will have to deal with all the awkwardness.

Yes, good. Good plan. Bart's such a good planner. He falls asleep listenning to his cousin's heartbeat with a tiny smile on his lips.

xxx

Next time Bart wakes up, Wally's gone. He sighs in relief and gets up, out of the tent, and into the house. There's a bunch of cookies in a basket on the table and a note underneath it.

 _Summer's over for me, kid. Had to go back to my intership, on the uni's lab, and I'm gonna be gone all day. You know my number in case anything happens. Take care and try not to destroy the house while I'm away._

The cookies suddenly turn bitter in Bart's mouth and he doesn't even know why, but he's disappointed Wally will be gone for the entire day, and he's... He's _sad_. They didn't have any any plans, so he has no right to be sad, yet he is.

He finishes eating the cookies and decides to go to Mount Justice for training. Looking on the bright side, he'll get to see Tim and ask for his help to improve the plan.

Bart's disappointment only grows when he finds out Tim's in Gotham doing the Dynamic Duo thing with Batman. He hangs around with Cassie and Jaime for a while, practices a few moves with Conner and when he decides it's time to text Tim, he notices he's got a new message and it's from Wally.

 _Have you burned the house yet or what_

 _house's still stading last time I checked. I'm on the cave._

 _Another mission so soon?_ Wally's reply's way too quick and Bart raises an eyebrow, but still decides to text him back.

 _nah, just practice._

 _Nice. Hope you're having fun._ Bart can see Wally's typing something and that something takes almost two whole minutes just to end up being five words. _Did you see Dick today?_

 _Nope. Tim's not here either, maybe sth's up in gotham today_ Bart's about to dismiss it, and put the phone away, but a new thought occurs to him and stops his hand. Why didn't his cousin just talk to Dick? Why is Wally talking to him instead? There's something going on and he wants to know what. _Why? Did something happen?_ He sends it.

Wally types and types and types and the message finally arrives seconds before Bart goes crazy from waiting. _It's nothing. I mean, it's just that I haven't talked to Dick since yday morning. He usually checks with me after a mission, but he hasn't yet, which means he's probably busy and I don't want to disturb him but i still… did you know that he once forgot to eat for an entire day bc he was busy? can you believe this asshole? that's why i make him check in with me after missions just to know if he's alive bc he sucks and i just… I worry about him._

When he finishes reading Wally's text, he's practically bouncing up and down with excitement, because this is great! Wally worries about Dick, because he cares, and he cares because he loves Dick! And Dick loves him too, or he wouldn't put up with talking to Wally everyday! Bart's so busy basking in the righteousness of his mission to get them together that he almost misses Wally's new text.

 _He's my best friend. I worry about him._

Nooooooooo. No, Wally, no. Enough with the denial already.

 _I'll call if I hear sth._ Bart types, shoves the phone back to his pocket and heads for the zeta tube, smiling all the way and determined not to let this minor setback discourage him. He wanted to get Tim's input, but he can't wait any longer. He's already behind on the plan, he got distracted by Wally not being as much of an asshole as he usually is and now he needs to make up for it. Phase 3 starts immediately.

xxx

Finding and sending the gifts is easy. He sends a box of chocolate to Dick in Wally's name with a _"just so you don't forget to eat, you asshole_ " note. He debates over writing a xoxo in the end for ten whole minutes, but then decides against it. Dick and Wally aren't there yet. But soon they will be. Soon.

He sends Wally a single rose and a note that says " _I'm alive, don't worry."_ No signature, no anything, because with Dick less means more.

And then Bart goes home and waits. He waits and he waits, then he waits so more, while trying his hardest not to die from boredom. One day later the doorbell rings and Dick comes in for a surprise visit.

"Hey, dude, you busy?" Dick says.

Bart trips and falls on his face, trying to see both Dick's and Wally's faces.

"Quite the contrary, bro. I'm super bored. You wanna come in?" Wally looks back when he hears the loud bang of Bart's face hitting the floor. Before the older redhead can ask him, Bart mumbles an "I'm fine" and gets up.

Bart uses his super speed to get himself together and does it just in time to see Dick's hand brush against Wally's. Wally takes half a second to respond and suddenly they're holding hands and smiling at each other like the lovesick puppies they are and that's it. That's the moment Bart's been waiting for his whole life, - okay fine, not for his whole life. The plan's not even a week old, but time passes differently for a speedster so trust him when he says it's been too long.

And then the moment's gone. Dick smiles and takes his hand back, head slightly montioning to where Bart's standing. "Sure, wanna hear about how the Riddler almost blew up Gotham again?"

"Yup. Gotham stories are my favorite, I have the "onlyingotham" tag tracked on twitter and tumblr."

"Yeah, but you never check them because you keep forgetting your passwords." Dick rolls his eyes, and nudges him on the ribs.

"Why would I need to remember passwords when I'm best friends with a genius hacker? Come on." Wally doesn't even try to pretend he's hurt by the remark and throws his arms around Dick's shoulders, pulling him in. "Videogames 'til we pass out?"

Dick nods, they exchange a brofist and Bart watches them go to the sofa, feeling heartbroken. That was not what he was expecting. That was not supposed to happen. Maybe they didn't get the gifts, because they would have at least talked about it if they had, right?

Sure, Bart kept the notes straight to the point and not romantic at all because he didn't want to overdo it, but the gifts were still romantic; the box of chocolate was heart shaped and the rose came with a red bow wrapped around it, for god's sake. It was supposed to make them realize they cared about each other as more than best friends, but watching the exchange, nothing seemed to have changed between them.

He knows Wally definitely got the rose because he was home when it was delivered and he saw his cousin's reaction when he read the note. Wally scoffed, but the look on his face was fond, and he kept it in a vase by his bed. But maybe Dick didn't get the chocolate.

Bart says no when Dick asks if he wants to join them, goes to his room, locks the door behind him and calls Tim.

"I might need you to break into Dick's place." The speedster says, instead of greeting and he can almost hear Tim's eyebrow raise. "Think you can do it?"

"I could. But why would I do that?" Tim's voice is careful. "Is he in danger, did anything happen?"

"No, no. It's nothing like that, he's fine. He's actually here, playing videogames with Wally. I just need to know if he got a box of chocolate last night. It's very important. Please, Tim, just do it for me and I'll explain everything tomorrow before practice."

"How about you explain it to me now? You're not making any sense."

"Come on, I dare you! No, I double dare you!" Bart insists, pouting despite the fact that his friend can't see him. "Please. Do you trust me?"

"Fine." Tim sighs. "I'll go, but first you need to promise me it's nothing bad and that you'll tell me what this is about the moment I call you back with an answer."

"Deal! Thanks so much, Tim, you're the best friend ever, you're…"

"Yeah, Bart, same. I'll call you back in two minutes, tops. See you."

"Only two minutes, but how… Oh, you've already zetaed there…" Bart knows Tim hung up right after the "see you" bit, but he's still amazed at how competent his friend is.

He puts the phone away, opens the door carefully not to make a sound and glances over the living room to find Dick and Wally on the sofa. Wally's yelling and using his superspeed to crush all the buttoms of the video game console at the same time. Dick's laughing and trying to use his hand to block the redhead's vision of the screen.

It's weird seeing both of them like this, relaxed and happy and _young_. Dick and Wally appear to be two completely different people from the Nightwing and Kid Flash he knew, and it's a nice kind of different. They melt around each other, eyes softening and bodies relaxing only because of the other's presence. It's so obvious that Bart's tempted to forget all about his plan just to go there and yell at them for being so damn stupid.

Both Dick and Wally deserve this. They deserve to go home after a long day to someone who loves them, someone who worries and cares and makes them happy. Bart just wants them to be happy.

He lingers for a second more than he should, because suddenly Wally turns his head and looks right at him, a smile forming on his lips. "Hey, Kid, you sure you don't want to play with us? I promise to let you win."

Bart closes his hands into fists and takes a deep breath because he wants to. He wants that. He wants Wally to be this happy, all the time. Because if Wally's happy, then maybe they'll go on more camping trips or go superheroing together, they'll talk, have fun and share stories so Wally will stop thinking of him as a liability. He wants a Wally who doesn't hate him, because Bart doesn't hate him back, not really.

His cellphone vibrates, bringing him back to reality. It's Tim and in less than two minutes. Incredible.

"We're about to order some pizza, come on, kid!" Wally adds.

"Nah, I'm good. Maybe some other day?" Bart waves at them, and as soon as he gets back into his room, door locked, he answers Tim. "Please have good news."

"Good news is chocolate or no chocolate?" Tim asks and Bart's left speechless for a moment.

"I don't even know, just tell me what you found."

"He got the box of chocolate, and ate two of them, the rest is in the refrigerator." Tim ignores Bart's cry of _but that makes no sense_ and keeps going. "Want to tell me the whole story now?"

"Yeah, sure." Bart sits down on his bed and clears his throat. "You know how Dick and Wally love each other and belong together, but are way too dumb to do something about it? So I decided to do something about it and I have this plan, and it's super awesome, really amazing and infallible, but not really because phase 3 just failed and I don't know what I did wrong, please help." He says it all in one go and waits for Robin's feedback.

"Bart, that's, uh… I don't think that's a good idea. It's not…" Tim says, after a long pause and Bart's half offended, half curious because he's never seen Tim having trouble with words before.

"No, you don't understand, it's a great idea, because if they start dating, they'll be together all the time and they'll be happy and…" And Waly will be nice to him again. "And you want Dick to be happy, right? He's yourbigbrotherandyou…"

"Bart, stop, you're speedtalking again. Look, you need to trust me on this. Your plan is a bad idea and you need to drop it."

"And how do you know? You didn't even hear it, you didn't even…" Bart can't keep the disappointment out of his voice.

"I just know it."

"But how can you know it? You can't possibly…"

"I just know something you don't. And I wish I could tell you, because I can see you care about getting them together, but it's not my secret to tell. You're just going to have to trust me when I say this is a bad idea."

"But why? I mean, of course I trust you, but I don't understand… Have you seen the way they look at each other or how they eat off of each other's plate without asking for permission, or how their hugs last a few seconds longer than a friend hug is supposed to last, or…"

"Bart. Bart! It's not going to work because Dick and Wally are… Uh, they're kind of already… Dating… Other people." Tim finishes the sentence with a long suffering sigh and Bart feels like someone just punched him in the face because _what_?


End file.
